Panic and Anxiety Disorder. My Life After Diagnosis


I woke up one day and it was doomsday. It was doomsday every day after that. I feel like I was dying. I lost weight. I’ve had panic attacks. They felt as if my heart has stopped, and I couldn’t breathe. The only way I could take a breath is by smoking. I went to a doctor to find out what was wrong with me. I was diagnosed with panic and anxiety disorder. I had a severe fear of death. I was prescribed with meds, and for short moments since intake, life was normal.

The problem is my fear of going out. The wind is too noisy for me, and I get fearful of other people. I was riding a public commute when I had one of those attacks. I was lucky my sister was there with me. I cannot go out with my friends like before. I played in a band and used to go to gigs, but because I’m afraid of going out, I lost contact with most of my friends. The isolation worsened my condition.

The effects of my treatment took a long while to happen. For more than a year I stayed at home, but my meds helped me to function. I was able to get an online job, and I focused my time and energy on it. I got in touch with my friends through Facebook and Twitter. Little by little, I started going out, first just to a nearby park, then to close towns using a bike.

A few months ago, I decided to try something else. I joined a group of friends in a trip to the beach. While we were riding, I had an attack, and my friends stopped the van to help me cope. The trip back was okay. In a way, the trip was a success for my condition, because I was able to go far, and I was able to have fun again even in a place full of strangers.

I can go out without a problem nowadays, but I still need to take my meds with me. The only reason I still stay at home most of the time is because of my online job. I regularly meet with my doctor just to ensure that I’m in good shape, and my anxiety stays at a level that I can control. My story tells that there is life and hope despite having an anxiety disorder, and you can still enjoy the things that you used to do. 

Heath Martin
Hi dean,
I have just lost my battle with all off the above after suffering a MI.
It has become an everyday event and am on Valium everyday now just to cope.
I am about to start with help.
I have read your story and it has given me some hope, THANK YOU
And well done, you should be very proud of yourself